Punk'd
by lifelessvampire
Summary: Rose has the sick sadistic idea of punking everyone and anyone. Includes the good, the bad, and the donw right ugly. Who will get Punk'd first? Post Last Sacrifice. R
1. Prologue

**Here is the first chapter of the new book series 'Punk'd'. Not all ideas are mine, but most of them are. I hope you enjoy, and I will let you know now that chapters will be around 3,000 words long. This was just an introductory. I DI NOT OWN ANY VAMPIRE ACADEMY REFERENCES.**

* * *

Court, The one word left a bitter taste in my mouth. Ever since I got arrested of the murder for late Queen Tatiana Ivashkov – Queen of the Moroi and Dhampir world – and got shot because of it, people had been treading lightly around me. For instance, when I would walk into a café or just a normal shop, everyone's chatter dies down as they watch me walk around. Sometimes I see the looks of adoration in Guardian's and younger dhampirs eyes, but some royals still believed I kill her. _Bastards._ I was dressed in the typical Guardian uniform: black slacks and a white blouse. Classy yet deadly.

"Rose!" Lissa, and the new Queen of the Moroi and Dhampir world, yelled out to me. I turned around just as she sprung herself into my arms.

"Lissa!" I yelled with the same enthusiasm, causing her to roll her eyes at me.

"We need to plan another shopping trip" I had to say: her excitement was contagious.

"Okay, but I'm working right now, so…" I gestured around me, making her look around too. Her eyes widened before she yelled.

"Oh, right! Sorry" the last part she whispered, just in case anyone had heard her scream out. It wasn't very 'Queen-ly' of her. She waved goodbye as she went to go somewhere: probably to find Sparky and boink his brains out. I shuddered at the thought.

A few minutes later, I heard the distinct sounds of roaring laughter coming from one of the Guardian Ward Panels (GWP for short). Curiosity got the better of me as I sneaked around to the side, making sure not to make any sudden movements. Soon, I was sneaking up behind the four men just as another round of laughter hit them.

"Holy Jesus! Ashton is _so_ funny" one of them giggled. Hearing a grown man giggle had chuckle myself. Lucky for me, no one heard.

"Oh, oh, _oh_!" they all laughed together again. Rolling my eyes, I placed my hand on the closest ones shoulder. The screamed a real girly scream before placing his hand over his heart.

"Jesus Hathaway! I scared the shit out of me" he exclaimed. The other three looked at me with shocked expressions.

"Shouldn't you be getting to work?" I asked, slightly amused that I had scared four grown men to death and back.

"Shouldn't you be on patrol?" one taunted back. He had black hair and brown eyes with the pinkest skin you could ever find. He wasn't has buff as Dimitri, but he wasn't lanky either.

"Shouldn't you be looking out for Strogoi?" I asked back, making him look down sheepishly. I added a "Yeah, that's what I thought" before turning to the other three.

"What were you watching?" I questioned, taking a seat in one of the chairs with wheels. They were uncomfortable, but bearable.

"Only the best show on earth" the one I had scared replied like I was the most stupid person in the world. I may have been, but no one could prove it.

"Explain"

"Okay, so this guy – Ashton Kutcher – hosts this show called 'Punk'd' and he pranks all these celebrities every week. But they let him go, so now all these new host come in every week and punk their friends" he explained, a huge grin forming of his chiselled jaw. He looked around 23 with small auburn scruff forming on his un-shaven jawline. He had muscle, and was pretty damned intimidating.

"I see" I really didn't. The one with black hair could see past my lie, so he placed a DVD in the player, before the screen went black. Two hours and a hell of a lot of laughs later, I was on the floor laughing with the boys, practically crying.

"How did I not hear of this sooner?" I questioned myself. Liam, the guy with black hair, helped me off the ground. I was still laughing when I dusted myself down.

"Can you keep a secret, Hathaway?" Jordan, a guy with pasty skin, blonde hair and grey eyes asked.

"I'm the chamber of secrets, Jones" Jordan's last name was Jones. The boys shared a look before nodding. The fixed their eyes on me as I struggled under their glare.

"We were thinking of making our own 'Punk'd' show, except 'Court style'. But, we don't have a host…" they let the sentence hand in the air. I already knew where this was going, so I let a carefree smile take over my features.

"You want me to be the host" that one statement had the boys nodding their heads like those bobble-head toys you got from carnivals.

"Sure, but this is what we need to do" We went into conversation about who we would punk, what we could do, where we do it, and when. Three hours later, we had a whole list of people and things we could do to them.

"We could go outside Court for that one" Adam, the guy with scruff on his jaw, suggested. I stared at him wide-eyed. Ever since the whole situation when Jill died, Strigoi had been sending threats and letters to make us scared. _Pfft: idiots._

"We're trying to have a fun time, Adam, not kill them" Brandon, a twenty year old with black hair and tanned skin, affirmed. I agreed with him on that. I felt a vibration in my back pocket, indicating I had a new text.

_Where are you? I miss you x –D_

I smiled at Dimitri's text. Since I got shot, he'd been extra careful with me, and want me to get home so he could care for me. He was a huge sap sometimes.

"I gotta go, but when do you think we should start?" I asked, already walking out the door. It had started getting light again, indicating it was getting late. I still wasn't used to the nocturnal sleeping arrangements, though.

"As soon as we get the cameras and extras for the take. We'll text you when we're ready" I waved to them as I ran across Court, already knowing my shift ended ages ago.

"Honey, I'm home" I giggled, walking through the en-suite doors. In an instant, Dimitri had me wrapped up in his arms as he twirled me around.

"I missed you" he breathed, just as his lips made contact with my own. Just like all those many times before, I felt the electric current run through us. It felt so right.

A week later, I got a text from Adam saying 'got everything. we're ready when you are, boss'. I sent a quick reply back, already knowing who my first target would be.

_Tomorrow. 9:30 pm. My friend should be over an hour later: that leaves enough time for you to set up the cameras and bring in the extras – R_

Dimitri's body moved against mine through the sheets. Placing the phone down, I turned around and met chocolate brown eyes.

"What are you doing up?" I yawned, but I couldn't get the huge grin off my face.

"I could ask you the same question" he crashed his lips to mine, not caring about morning breath. _I can't wait for tomorrow…_

* * *

**There you go folks. Who do you think will be Punk'd first? And what do you think will happen to them? Remember to COMMENT COMMENT COMMENT :D I love to read reviews, and I read every single one of them. I DO NOT OWN PUNK'D.**

**Lifelessvampire**


	2. Chapter 1: Lissa

**Here is the official first chapter of 'Punk'D' Vampire Academy version. Sorry you were expecting Christian to be Punk'D first, but he should be next chapter :) I DO NOT OWN ANY PUNK'D OR VAMPIRE ACADEMY RELATED REFERENCES.**

* * *

_**Rose POV**_

"Have you got everything ready?" I asked Liam, who was wiring up all the cameras and microphones. Even though he was wearing dark shaded sunglasses, I could tell he was glaring at me.

"Yes – but it would have taken less time if _someone _decided to help" he sneered before turning back to his wires. I rolled my eyes at him before walking over to Jordan, Adam and Brandon. They were walking through what was going to happen with a four year old girl. She had black hair and a rather tanned complexion. She was definitely related to Brandon.

"Is this your kid, Brandon?" I wondered, kneeling down to her level.

"Nope – niece. She's a little shit too" the child glared at her uncle with the coldest stare I had seen in a while. I grinned at her, already knowing we were going to be great buds. She wore pink overalls and her hair was in two plats – adding the effect that she was harmless.

"Okay Rose, we're ready for you" Liam yelled out, catching the attention of a few helpers. We needed the extra help, and dhampirs practically jumped at the opportunity.

"Where do I stand?" I asked, taking my time walking over to him. He held a huge camera on his shoulders. I didn't need to be a telepath to know it was heavy.

"Just slouch against the pillar – yep, like that" The guys thought it would be a good idea if I said a little something at the start of each prank. Maybe something to do with how sorry I was, why I was doing it, or what I thought about it.

"Three, two, one…you're on"

"Oh hi – I didn't see you there" I smiled before leaning off the cream pillar. "So, before I get into details, I'd just like to say that you all deserve this. Some of you I love more than my own life, but others I want to injure – you know who you are" Liam made a gesture of his hands, telling me to hurry up.

"So Lissa, I'm sorry, but we had to punk you. Please, don't take it personally – in fact, take it as a complement" I moved up to the camera, making sure all they saw were my eyes.

"This episode is called 'Naughty Child'. Enjoy" the red light on Liam's camera turned black. He gave me a triumphant grin before putting his arm around my shoulders.

"Perfect"

* * *

_**Lissa POV**_

"Chris – stop it" I giggled, trying to swat away my fiancés groping hands. I was supposed to be meeting my best friend – Rose – in a few minutes, and I highly doubted she would want to see me having sex.

"She won't be here 'til another few minutes" he whined, setting back on the kitchen counter. I sat on the bar stool, waiting until Rose arrived. She was taking me out to this new mall that opened the other day – she said it was complete with the strongest wards in the world, so I didn't bother hiring guards to come with us. Besides, it felt like I hadn't spent time with her since my crowning.

"Let me in, Pyro" Rose's demanding voice made me giggle. I stood up from the stool, letting my full length dress touch the ground. I walked over to the door and pulled it open, pulling my best friend into a bone crushing hug.

"I haven't spoken to you in ages!" I exclaimed, pulling her inside the apartment. Her skinny jeans and red tank top did wonders for her curves – one of the things I envied most about her.

"I know – but this trip should make up for it" a twinkle in her eyes caught me off guard. Happiness? Gosh, I was happy I was spending time with her too!

"We better go before all the good stores close" she tugged on my arm. Not enough to make me fall, but forceful enough to make me stumble.

"I'll see you soon, Chris" I yelled, closing the door behind me. She looped her arm through mine as we walked down the forever long hallway.

"This trip should be so much fun" Rose exclaimed, attracting the attention of a few Moroi. She snickered as they turned their noses up in disgust, but as soon as they saw me they put on polite faces. I hated how Moroi, especially Royals, treated Rose so harshly. She didn't even kill the late Queen Tatiana!

"How do you not mind the looks Royals give you?" I asked out of pure wonder. I watched as she barely looked at me, a smile still firmly plastered on her face.

"I don't live to please those bastards, Liss. The only person I want to please is my sexy Russian" she and I were both giggling when we arrived at her SUV. She unlocked the doors before slipping inside the leather seats. I followed soon after, buckling myself into the seat.

"I will never get used to these seats" Rose sighed, rubbing herself against the leather. I snickered as she practically drooled over the steering wheel.

"I'll have time to admire you later" she pouted, starting up the engine. She pulled out of the parking space effortlessly. It still amazed me that a year ago she was crashing into anything and everything, but now she was like a whole new person. Maybe Dimitri changed more than one thing about her.

"Oh I love this song!" Rose exclaimed, turning up the radio volume full blast. I flinched away from the blasting music. Nonetheless, I didn't utter a word. This was her and my day: I wasn't going to bring down her happy mood. It wasn't until we stopped at the second row of red lights that Rose turned down the music and pulled out a map.

"We should be there in ten minutes" she informed me once the lights turned green. I nodded and leant back in my seat. I nearly had a heart attack when she didn't slow down for a speed hump, making the car jump a few feet in the air.

"Who the hell would put a speed hump there?!" she asked loudly, making me laugh uncontrollably. I sobered up when I noticed the glare she was sending my way.

"I will purposely crash this car" her voice wavered a little, telling me she though the situation was funny too. We arrived at a rather small mall a few minutes later. Once she turned off the engine, I was out of the car, stretching my aching muscles.

"Where do we go to first?" I asked once we were inside the cool air-conditioned mall. Small caters and stores were surrounding us.

"I need to show you this shop – funniest thing ever" she giggled, pulling me along the tiled floor. It wasn't until I ran into a small figure that we stopped. I looked down and melted instantly. A little girl, around the age of four or five with black hair and pink overalls lay sprawled out on the floor. I kneeled down instantly, feeling a connection to the little girl.

"I am so sorry! Are you okay?" I asked, checking for any damage. Her tear streaked face made me feel sympathy for her.

"I lost my mummy" she mumbled, wiping away the tear on her chin. I lifted her in my arms, making sure she felt warm and safe.

"What does your mummy look like?" I asked, tucking away a few strands of hair. She sniffled before looking me in the eye. Her hazel eyes were so innocent and soft.

"She's tall, she looks like me and she smells like strawberries" I looked around, trying to find a desperate mother looking hysterical. The only problem, no one in my eye sight had black hair.

"I can't see your mummy, but I'll take you to the information desk to tell the people, okay?" she clung onto my neck tighter, refusing to let go.

"No! Please, they scare me" she sobbed. "Can I stay with you for a little while?" I looked over at Rose who was looking at a doughnut stand. Her eyes sparkled with hunger. I smacked her arm, making her head swivel around to meet my gaze. I shook my head and nodded down to the little girl.

"What's your name, sweetie?" I asked, lifting her chin up.

"Lily"

"That's a beautiful name, Lily" I smiled, making her crack a grin too. I set her down and held her hand, walking along with Rose who looked bored out of her mind.

"This was supposed to be fun" she mumbled, kicking a small stone in her path. I chuckled at her attitude before nudging her in the ribs. She let out a little yelp.

"Where were you going to take me?" I asked, making Rose scrunch her eyebrows together.

"I was meant to take you to Sexyland – you know, get a few things for Sparky" she pouted, glaring down at Lily in her path.

"We can still go – just when we find her mom" I whispered, making sure Lily couldn't hear. I was pretty sure Lily was human, but I wasn't a hundred per cent sure. I was suddenly hauled to a stop by non-other than Lily herself.

"I'm hungry" she hissed, stomping down her foot. I stared wide-eyed at the little, innocent girl as if she had three heads.

"Okay, we'll go get you some food" I smiled, leading the way to what I hoped was the food court. I heard Rose snicker from beside me, making me smack her head. She stared at me with a small 'o' shaped mouth.

"What would you like, honey?" I asked Lily as we reached the food court.

"I don't know – give me a second to look, would ya?" she sneered, ripping her hand away from mine. Again, I stared wide-eyed at the little girl. _I swear to God she was a little angel!_ I watched as she pushed her way through the lines of customers. She came back a few seconds later with a burger and coke in hand.

"How did you get that?" I asked, following her step. She barely looked at me as she took a sip of her coke.

"I took it from a table – can you believe someone would just leave it there?" she snorted, taking a bite of her burger. Rose and I halted in our steps, staring at the little devil. By the time we snapped out of it, she was already a good twenty metres away from us. It wasn't until she stepped into Sexyland that we bolted after her.

"This is what happens when you're too nice!" Rose yelled at me, coming to a halt outside the lingerie shop. Taking a deep breathe, we followed the little girl's tracks into the store. I was met with the scent of tacky perfume and erotic toys. I instantly cringed.

"Hello ladies, I'm Veronica and if you need anything please come and find me" a girl in her late thirties with blonde hair said in a sugary sweet voice. Rose and I both knew she loathed to be near us.

"Actually, I was wondering if you've seen a little girl, aged four to five years old around the store" her face scrunched up in disgust.

"No, but if I do I will be sure to find you" her voice was cold. She stormed away before we could say anything else. Rose and I split up, thinking it would be quicker and easier. I ran and hid behind magazine stands. And trust me, they were not the magazines I would read – _ever_. I walked into the bachelorette section of the store, surprised to find Lily throwing around erotic toys.

"Lily!" I scolded, restraining her arms. She barely moved in my hold as I led her away.

"Rose! I found her!" I yelled out, hoping she was close by. Thankfully, she rounded a corner a few seconds later.

"I'm starting to not like this kid" she stated, leaning against a cream pillar. She sneered at Lily before turning to me. Before she could utter a word, and small figure stomped on her foot.

"You little shit!" Rose screamed after Lily as she ran out of the store. I helped Rose limp her way out of the store – glaring at Vanessa on her way out.

"That fucking kid! I'm going to kill her" she whined, coddling her now injured foot. I could hear Lily's giggles from the opposite side of the mall.

"You can't call kids the eff-word, Rose. No matter how angry you are with them" I rubbed her shoulders, trying to calm her down. Five minutes later, Rose and I were running after Lily's giggles. We stopped a few times, hoping to find any clues Lily had left behind.

"Okay, where would find a devil four-year old kid?" Rose asked aloud. I looked around, trying to come up with an answer to her rhetorical question. My eyes found the one store children could not resist.

"There" I pointed to the overly colourful store. Rose audibly sighed before storming her way inside.

* * *

"Lily, come one you little shit" Rose screamed over the top of all the children. A few mothers covered their children's ears, sending daggers to Rose.

"Rose, I think you should use another approach" I sighed, stepping over a few loose toys on the ground. The playground looked like a disease infested arena for the younger years. It was like 'The Hunger Games' for children.

"Fine. Lily!" Rose cupped her hands over her mouth. While Rose was calling out Lily's name, I walked over to one of the workers.

"Hi, sorry, but have you seen a child with black hair and tanned skin?" I asked. He had black hair but was pale. His nametag said 'Toby'.

"Have you seen the amount of kids in this store, ma'am?" his answer was filled with laughter, making me smile.

"Right, sorry" just as I was about to leave, a child with inky black hair punched Toby in the stomach, making him double over.

"Lily!" I yelled, running after her. I barely watched Toby struggle to catch his breath before I was out of the store. I could faintly hear Rose running behind, gaining on me every few twists and turns.

"I've got her!" she yelled, bolting past me. Just as she was about to skim the pink fabric of Lily's overalls, Lily stopped abruptly, making Rose skid to a stop. They stared each other off for a few seconds before they were both off again. I nearly rolled my eyes if the whole ordeal was slightly scary. I tried running after them, but my lungs gave out. I watched as they rounded a corner so fast, it seemed like they were all blurs. Taking out my phone, I skimmed through my contacts until I found Christian's name. Pressing the green phone symbol, I waited until he picked up.

"_Hey, you've called the C-man. Can't get to the phone at the moment, but leave a message and I might call you back later_" his voicemail left me smiling. I didn't bother leaving a message, as I was positive he wouldn't check it anyway. I turned my head at the sound of huffing behind me. Rose stood with perspiration clung to her clothes and scratches up and down her body.

"Are you okay?" I asked, jumping to my feet. I wanted so bad to heal her cuts and bruises, but I knew she would bite my head off if I even tried.

"Peachy" she replied before slumping down.

"Do you know where she is?" I wondered, leaning on her frame. She shrugged before looping her arm through mine. That one gesture made a smile form on my face.

"Nope – but next time we go shopping, we aren't helping out any small creatures" she sneered, directing her anger at Lily. I smirked along with her, until we heard the intercom.

"_The mall is closing in 5 minutes, if you could please make your way to your vehicles. Thank you for shopping with us" _

"We didn't even spend a dime, Liss!" Rose shrieked, pacing in front of me. I would have laughed with her if it weren't for the fact that I was disappointed too.

"Next time we go shopping, I'll buy you a giant pretzel" her eyes looked hopeful.

"Really?"

"Really" she grinned before helping me up. Because we were at the other end of the mall, we had to run to get to the car park. When we made it, we realised the SUV was the only vehicle there. We nodded at the security guard out the front who gave us a warm smile.

"Interesting day" I started.

"Interesting doesn't cover it, Liss" Rose chuckled. We were around twenty metres away from the SUV when a loud explosion made us duck for cover. Rose formed her body as a human shield for me. We looked up a moment later, nearly crying at the sight of our SUV in flames.

"What the hell's going on here?!" the security guard demanded.

"Our car just blew up!" I screamed, putting a hand to my mouth. In the distance, I could see Lily laughing and holding a gas can. _Did she blow up our car?!_

"Rose" my voice wavered. I shrunk to the ground, actually so scared that I was close to a child arsonist.

"Don't worry, Liss. Help is coming right now" she assured me, rubbing circles on my forearm. I shook my head furiously, yanking my body away from hers. I didn't care that it was dark, or that Strigoi could be lurking in the dark, but I had to get the fuck out of there.

"Where are you going?" Rose taunted. _How dare she have the decency to make fun of me!_ I shrugged my jacket higher up my shoulders to keep it from falling down. It was then that I realised lights were following close behind me. I turned around sharply, and found that a camera was right in my face – Rose right behind it.

"What the fuck?!" I shrieked, aiming my anger at everyone.

"You just got Punk'd Liss" Rose giggled, wrapping her arms around my waist and lifting me up. I stared open mouth and wide-eyed at the camera crew who were pissing themselves laughing.

"This was a joke?"

"Yep" a little voice spoke up. Lily stood with the security guard – it was then that I realised they looked very much alike.

"You dick!" I smacked Rose so hard I was surprised she didn't flinch. She started laughing as well as the rest of the dhampirs. I smiled, even though all I wanted to do was cry in a hole.

"Did the car actually blow up?"

"Nah - it's around the back" Rose laughed, setting me back on the ground.

"Can we go home now?" I asked, starting to get a little cold.

"Nope, you need to say something first" she whispered it in my ear. I shook my head at her, a smile still on my face.

"Come on Liss, say it" Rose urged, the cameras still on me. I grinned before facing the camera.

"My name is Vasisila Dragimor, and I just got Punk'd" there were cheers around the whole parking lot. I couldn't help but smile, even if I did want to try my best at beating Rose to a pulp…

* * *

**Well, what did you think? Sorry it wasn't the best chapter in the world, but I tried :( I would love to hear feedback of if you liked it or hated it.**

**Lifelessvampire**


End file.
